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St. Andrew's Church
An Anglican Church • Grimsby, Ontario, Canada
Preached by
Stuart Pike
Rector
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Easter 3 C - The Forgiving of Peter - I'm going fishing.
Sunday 22 April 2007
St. Andrew's Church, Grimsby
John 21: 1-19
I remember those early days when the Church was just starting to form. Long before we spoke of the Church. We were just a group of people who knew Jesus. We really didn't know what was going on. Our Lord had been killed! Then, in the very depths of our grief we saw him alive! Even Thomas, who didn't believe us, later saw him, and believed. It was after all of that, that we returned to Galilee. What was going on? Did we, in our grief have some sort of mass hallucination? If Jesus really was alive, what were we supposed to be doing now? We needed to have more instructions from him, yet, where was he? All of us felt like we were at loose ends. Finally, I couldn't stand the waiting anymore. So what do you do when you're feeling that way? Well, you do what you know, I guess.
We had made our livings by fishing. So, I said to the rest of them: "I'm going fishing." And they came along. It's strange how we came full circle that night. We started out fishing on this same sea three years ago before Jesus called us on our incredible adventure. Now here we were - back where we started. It was almost as though we had forgotten that those three years had happened. Maybe we really didn't believe that Christ really had risen, and so we wanted to forget those years with Jesus - since it just ended in death.
What a discouraging night we had that night. It didn't happen often, but when it did, it really was frustrating. All night long we fished. We were tired - our arms and our backs ached. The sun was just up and it was really time to head home. The air was cool, but we were all stripped down because you really get hot working that hard all night. The sun really sneaks up on you, you know. Before you know it the reflections of light dancing on the water are starting to hypnotize you and you can barely focus your eyes when you lift your head. It was just like that when we heard some character calling at us from the beach - we couldn't really see him. We didn't know who it was. We thought it was some old guy trying to help us out, or maybe he was a little soft in the head. Still, it was with a feeling of déja vu that we cast the net on the other side of the boat - just to humour this guy, we thought.
Before we knew it we just about swamped the boat with the weight of fish. We decided to leave the net dragging over the side - or else I'm sure we would have sunk. It was then that John said what was just coming to all of our minds: "It is the Lord." It was like a jolt of electricity zapped through me. I didn't know what I was doing! I wrapped my robe around me and then - wanting to get to Jesus faster than that slow weighted boat could move, I jumped into the water to swim there.
I can't tell you how it hit me. It was one thing to have Jesus appear to us mysteriously as we were living in fear in Jerusalem. Was it real? It seemed like a foggy memory - or a dream. But it was quite another thing to have Jesus come to us when we had already started to go back to work. Our work was real. The fish were real. And Jesus was real. You know it's real when you sit down to a meal with someone, and eat and drink with them just like you always did.
The lot of us sat down with Jesus in the crisp early morning air and ate freshly cooked fish around a small crackling fire which Jesus had made. That was real.
Jesus forgave me that day. You don't know the torture I had been living with. Every morning, even before the sun would come up the roosters would start to crow - always reminding me of how I had denied Jesus. How could I do that to him? Three times, Jesus asked me if I loved him, and three times I told him I did. I was so grieved when he asked me the third time. It drove my triple denial straight through me. Jesus knew what he was doing. He knew it would hurt. But he knew it would heal me too. Jesus was forgiving me. I had to go through that hurt three times, because I had to remember my denial three times. You can't be forgiven unless you remember your need to be forgiven. I remembered alright. Here I was with Jesus sitting around a charcoal fire. It felt like I was right back there in the High Priest's courtyard in Jerusalem around that blasted charcoal fire. Why didn't I just stay in the cold that night I asked myself so many times. Sitting at this fire, on the beach, it felt as though I had been caught in the very act of my denial on the eve of my Lord's death.
Yet, even after that third time that Jesus asked me: "Do you love me." Even though I was so upset as I said yes, Jesus told me a third time to look after his sheep. As soon as he said it, I realized that this was the only way I could have found forgiveness - it was the only way I could have forgiven myself. Jesus knew oh so fully about my denial of him, and he wanted me to feed his sheep anyway. I was forgiven. I could move on in my life, and fully give myself to the mission Jesus had for me. Now whenever I hear a rooster I feel the depth of Jesus' love for me. Jesus loved me enough to cause me that hurt, so that I could be healed.
From then on: and all during my life I knew what the mission of our growing Church would be: tending and feeding Jesus' sheep, and letting them know how Jesus loves them too. The Church that day was just a handful of us sitting around a fire on the beach with our Lord. But I knew we'd grow. As long as we knew our mission. I knew we'd grow.
Jesus jolted us out of confusion that morning around that fire. We had gone back to fishing for fish. We had gone backwards. We had reverted, regressed - as though lying in a fetal position to comfort ourselves in our confusion. Jesus reminded us that we were to be fishers of men and women. Jesus called us back into action. We are his disciples, we are to witness to him in our lives. Jesus said, "Follow me" that first time we saw he called us - the first time he brought us that miraculous catch of fish. Now three years later after all that had happened to him and to us: after the fun times, after the miracles, the danger, even after the death and the resurrection. Jesus came back to give us another miraculous catch and to remind us that we are to always follow him.
The reason I'm telling you my story, of course, is to ask you to remember as well. Jesus wants you to follow him. Jesus enlists all of us to be his disciples. Jesus wants your life, no matter your trade or occupation to bear witness to those you meet of his light in this often dark world. Amen.
